Telegram from Lady Liberty

Lady Liberty, who is a close and personal friend of mine, wrote me today:

God, it's so fucking disheartening. I really was batting for Kerry -
he quoted Gide to the New York Times ("Do not think you know me too
soon" - jeez I never hoped this was true more than now), I think his
daughters are a couple of hot babes - and he really knows how to hunt
down and tear into a piece of meat, which, to tell you the truth, is
my last best hope for him (speaking of the possible advantages of meat
eating.) But Bush really looks hot, don't he. those dudes who told him
to ditch the suit and tie and just roll up his sexy muted cotton
shirt-sleeves are real fashion geniuses. They rival the
Queer-EyeFor-The-Straight-Guy guys in media savvy.
However, did you just see Zel Miller? he displayed himself as a real
honest to goodness idiot in front of that bastion of rationality, Wolf
Blitzer.
Wolf (I feel I can call him Wolf) asked him why he was a democrat
seeing as he disagreed with most of the democratic agenda and he
replied that "I was born a democrat and I'll die a democrat, and when
I meet my maker it'll be as a democrat" and that he was merely voting
for "conservative" proposals, and that if the DEMOCRATS had put forth
these conservative proposals, well then by God he would've voted as a
democrat! It just happened that the Republicans were putting forth the
conservative proposals that he agreed with, so as a lifeling
unrepentant Democrat, he was voting Republican all the way!
In other words, he's OUT OF HIS MIND!!! None of the pundits even knew
how to respond to him!!!!!!! But do you think that the Kerry campaign
will use this bizarre footage to their advantage? I doubt it.

Meanwhile, I actually have been starting to get nostalgic for Nader.
Fucking
Zel Miller.
I read a kind of cute article in the Guardian in London that said that
alot of Royalty buffs in the U.K. feel that Kerry is sure to win
because he has more blood connections to nobility than any other
president or presidential candidate before him.
I guess they haven't spent much time at the Walmart in Akron. Then
again neither have I.

See you after the elections. I'm going to Canada.

Love,

~ LL


I, Uncle Sam, being the kind of guy I am, wrote her back before she left however:

To me what's insane is being in charge of significant material and human resources, like a country, and at the same time believing that the supreme ruler of the universe wants your side to win. "In God We Trust" is a phrase I can live with. "God Bless America" is a phrase I cannot. The first puts the responsibility on us; the second assumes that the Almighty is listening and may, if we play our cards right, respond to our needs (or at least our pop music). The idea that whatever spiritual source could ever be called God could be petitioned to support the fortunes of an artificial construct like a nation-state or religion is repugnant to me, and an insult to the humble folk of the world.
Now, there are two kinds of people in the world, people like Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush, and people not like them. People like them believe that there is a (very anthropomorphic) Lord in heaven that is stage-managing the human endeavor. The idea is that God, praised be He, hears our prayers and answers the prayers of the righteous.
When Zell Miller says that the reason that we must elect Bush is "the fact that he is unashamed of his belief that God is not indifferent to America," he is of course stating the extremist Muslim position as well. It's freakish to imagine that in 2004 we're in a "God is on our side" war, but this is the MAD-like, Tarantino-like death-grip they've got us sucked into.
Somehow Kerry's got to smoke these evil-doers out of their holes and hiding places. And the only way he can do that is to say something true. But the Devil has him by the throat too.

~ U.S.