Down to a few

It continues to look bleak, with the NYTimes reporting today that Bush's lead is indeed in the double digits. So, here are some of my suggestions to blow it open:

1) Go on Howard Stern, talk guy talk
2) Have a beer and say "I'd love to do this with George, but he don't drink!"
3) Rent an hour on TV the night before the debates

More free Karl Rove-ish advice to Kerry: In your appearances and in your speeches, you need to develop a theme which will carry you over the transom and on to victory on election day. You need to say the words: "George Bush" over and over as if it was cussing. Over and over. Don't say which George Bush. Lump 'em up, but substitute this phrase for what is wrong, even for terrorism.

Say, but now that we're dealing with... pause ... (and people will wonder what it is you're going to say) George Bush. Saying his name like this, with a sigh, will make it seem synonymous with the problems of the country.

Another limb Kerry might go out on is to address Bush personally. He almost seemed to do it in the 1st debate, and it made for great theatre. He could say: "George, you have awesome powers...you are mighty...(in a very condescending way, as if to say: 'O no, we know you're powerful.'). And when you grabbed for that presidency, that was American. We Democrats were shell shocked. We couldn't believe what you guys did, and in retrospect, we should have fought for every one of those votes down in Florida. But I'm not going to make that mistake this time.

Kerry should say: "I'll make this pledge George Bush. This campaign has been very intense. And whoever wins deserves the full support, assuming we can ascertain that the election was conducted fairly, deserves the full support of the American people, and the full support of their opponent. If we win, I don't want you to run away. If we're going to deal with this new threat of terrorism, we're going to have to have an unprecedented effort. Now Mr. President, I know you have a temper, and can get quite short with people who you don't like or who disagree with you. But are you willing to help this country even if you aren't President. I sure know if I lose I'll still be at your disposal, ready to serve. So please don't turn away in anger if I win...we need you. You've been there.

Actually, in many ways you've done a great job. And my heart goes out to you. But you're messing up on this one major level, which is that what you've set up is gonna cost so many human lives, cost the world so many resources, and indeed could lead to whole sections of the world burning, and so we're here to retire you. But that doesn't mean we won't fight this war."