How to Beat Bush

The only way to beat Bush is to bring out in the open what’s really going on, speak truth to power, scare people, and take a stand. Talk about the denial that’s going on. Talk about the history of colonialism and why the grievances of the world are ours to take some responsibility for. Kerry could bury Bush if he said 1/10th what he said 33 years ago.

Otherwise, this election will be decided on the sound rational basis that mostpresidential elections are decided upon: looks. Bush is just looking so goddam good. I think he hurt his knee and hasn't been jogging or something, but he's fatter and cuter than normal. And he's got good, bouncy energy. He's spritely, animated, clear-eyed. I know that he is the human wind sock; I guess is getting blown pretty good.

Laura Bush is the Stepford Wife - so pretty and smart - beyond compare. Uptight though she is, she does look like she likes sex, which is only the second time we've seen that. And the kids made a hit. I know Jen is regarded as a bit of a cow, but I would bet to differ. She drinks and smokes, and sticks out her tongue and dresses kindahot. They both do actually. And her sister makes out in public and does table dances. This is not Amy Carter or Chelsea Clinton. This is my kind of American family and on a behavior level I find myself liking them and trusting them. OK, not really, But, c'mon, the dad's an ex-alkie, the mom still smokes, etc. On the other hand,

Kerry and his wife are just plain weird looking. They look liberal, rich and French. They admit to botox (at least one of them does), and they both often look like they're trying (and failing) to take a crap. And it turns out Kerry's a Jew. Seems his dad never told the kids, but Kerry's grandpa was born and raised Jewish and then converted. Sure explains a lot. And Theresa didn't even add Kerry to her name until this election. Anyway, there's no exuberance there.

I've seen Theresa time and again explain how much pain she's in having to run for 1st lady. That, my fellow Americans, is the recipe for failure. I want to hear how much fun she's having, what a great honor this is, how much she loves all these people she gets to meet, all that wonderful campaign cooing. But she's quite likely too rich, drinks too much red wine, and is too much of a aesthete to realize what she needs to be. Her reluctance is palpable, and a heavy weight on an alreadyweighted-down campaign. I heard her interviewed last month, and they asked her all about her dead husband, and she had the opportunity to say: yeah, he was great, but my new guy, wow. Instead, even when the interviewer tried to bring it back to Kerry, all Theresa wanted to talk about was Heinz.

So while I do understand the advantages to the ball-less strategy of being a complete turd and saying nothing and standing for nothing, I predict it will backfire and result in 4 more years of George W. Bush. But I understand what the risks are. If Kerry speaks out, he would need to risk leading -- with a new vision for America. One that doesn't depend on war and build its country on the backs of others for our privilege. Well, Uncle Sam can dream, can't he?