Funky Monkey

Three swings – three good hits. No home runs, but you can win the game by hitting singles.

I thought Kerry looked damn good. I am actually starting to like the guy. I was going to hold my nose and vote for him. Now I’m just going to vote for him.

I see that he managed to reduce the height and solidity of his hair somehow.

As for the other guy. I think he took too much of whatever he's on these days. Or maybe somebody finally got a signal jammer into the building.

The President is a grinning baboon.

Or maybe, a raging sock puppet foaming at the mouth.

Or maybe, a cheap malicious thug.

Or maybe he is completely insane.

But unless Kerry converts these subtle victories into some sort of "buzz," he will still lose. I just visited the Kerry Web site, and it's kind of lame. Certainly by the next day after the debate, you want the clip where Bush says he's not concerned about Osama bin Laden juxtaposed with the clip where Bush says he never said that. You want the “hard work” song that’s circulating on line. In the classic American tradition, you want to make the President look like the simian sock puppet he basically is.

The goal now is to melt it all down into a handful of nuggets that totally blow away the flip-flopper thing and lay out the vision in an unambiguous and big way. We need some fun stuff up there. Hell, you can even dress him up as me.